I suck at updating I know, but these days I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore. So I'm slowly trying to figure that out myself. Anyways I've been reading a lot of teen blogs lately and this is a post from my favorite teen blogger of all time. She just has a way of pin pointing my exact emotions and putting it into words in the time that I need it the most. Especially after today I think this is the most accurate depiction of how it is I'm feeling.
"Maybe it’s just a good idea to walk around with a mop. That way every time I feel like crying for something so damn silly, I’ll be sure to be prepared.
For some reason, I have this fragile little heart.
Where the littlest things can mess up my whole day and it’s so obvious that even that quiet hobo that walks with his head down will ask you what’s wrong.
And then you feel silly admitting it because such a thing is not such a major thing that you look like your mother died or something.
It’s just, I put everyone’s feelings before mine and then I get crumpled so easily when I realize they don’t give the friendship the same value as I do.
I have been burned so many times, yet some how the same stupid crap happens to me: a person I put my faith and trust in just walks away like I was simply there to keep them company.
And everything one says I over think.
Even when a teacher congratulates me on something, if they say it in a surprised tone, I will think it’s because they didn’t have faith in me, they didn’t count on me doing so good.
And that will mess up my day.
And I really suck at hiding my emotions too.
Poker face? Couldn’t do it if you paid me.
If I’m sad, you can clearly see it on my face.
If I’m mad, you can feel the heat and tension come off of me.
If I’m tired, you can probably predict it simply from my eyes.
And if I’m happy, you’re in luck, cause I’ll be bouncing on my toes and smiling for no damn reason.
I just want to know: how do I control my facial expressions?
And how do I stop looking like I’m about to cry?
How do I stop my emotions from depending on other silly little things that if I just were to ignore, I would feel so much better."
I couldn't have said it better my self.- xxxx
Ayssatou
No comments:
Post a Comment