It'll be vacation for the next eight weeks
How she'll survive, she doesn't know
She wonders how she did it every other year...
Do you know what's not fair ? Living with a parent that never listens to you. Like ever. Sometimes it feels like I can tell my mom something about a hundred times and she would still say I never told her. Well mom the only reason you think that is because you don't listen. You never listen. It's like you share no emotion or interest to any word I've ever uttered in this lifetime. I love my mother but talking to her is like talking to a brick wall, unresponsive and unhelpful. Not only that but when I actually do go to for something important, some of my deep emotional conflict or problems she won't take it seriously, nor would she ever understand. "You're not American so stop acting like you have their problems." and lets not forget her number one answer to everything "Just pray and all you're troubles will go away. Give yourself to the hands of god" Well what if I don't want to give myself to god huh mother ? What if I don't trust the one that you have such great faith in? Every problem I've ever had I've had to fix on my own. God did nothing for me so why should i trust him? Yes there are many moments that I hope and pray that someone out their a force or even god himself is on my side and helping me make my life better but there isn't. I grew to learn that the hard way. So now when I've been coupe'd up in this house never stepping a foot outside because where would I go right ? my friends are all out of town and I'm not even allowed to leave my house without a weeks notice. Tomorrow one of my favorite bands from England is coming to NY for a concert and I want more than anything to go. But of course I can't. Not only have I told my mother but I've told almost everyone in this house hold but nothing right. No one wants the prisoner to have fun, not even for a day. Oh well I guess I'll sleep off my depression and tears. Thanks god.
xxx.
-Ayssatou
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