I've been avoiding this subject for such a long time but today I just reached my breaking point. Boys are absolutely the cruelest of humans, correct that teenage idiotic High School boys are. In my life as a teenager now i finally understand that me and everyone around me are in a fragile state. The adolescent years are proven to magnify all you're emotions. So basically what an older person would feel as a heartbreak would just be 1000x worse for us. I've only ever liked one boy from my whole high school experience and i'm a junior now. Trust me it's not worth it. Some people just don't deserve the time that has been invested on them. I'm normally a very closed off person and I'm honestly not even at the point where I can fully talk and connect with my friends. I try i really do, but it's hard. But lately it's like everything I've been feeling has just piled up so much that I need someone to share it with. I need to open myself and fully trust someone enough to tell them. i just don't know how...Anyways back to the topic at hand. Boys. One of my friends who I've recently been getting closer to (that's a whole other story) got her heart broken by a guy who was to "confused" to be honest with her. Now i really don't care how dysfunctional our relationship is I fucking love this girl to death. I am never one to just stand by and watch my friends get close. I've legitimately been fuming about this for the past 2 hours. If you're not sure you like someone don't tell them you do anyways. If you know that you're wrong for someone don't string them along until they end up crying over you. I mean who does that ? Everyone loves to say and make fun of how insecure teenage girls are but doesn't society see that it's shit like this that lowers our self esteem? Because I can guarantee no matter what anyone tells my friend about how it's "Not her fault" and how "Shes's beautiful" she will always think it's because of her. She's going to judge every part of her because it must be her fault if he doesn't like her right ? WRONG. It's not her fault but the way society perceives us and the way boys get into our heads gives us these insecurities. And it's not fair, it never helps when people say "You'll find someone better" because how the fuck are you supposed to know that. Sometimes it's just better not to say anything. Sometimes we just have to accept the fact that things don't go the way we want them to. It sucks, and you'll feel bad for a while and it's going to take sometime. But it's going to be okay. None of my friends believe they're strong but when I look at them I see the 4 strongest girls I know and they have no idea how much I admire them for it. They're strength is what keeps me going some days, but they don't see that. I feel like I have sisters that I will forever want to protect and it's so weird considering I've never had a sister before. At this point in my life my number one goal is to focus so boys can go under the rug because my friends are all I need. I'll talk about my personal boy experience another time though. Goodnight <3
xxx.
- Ayssatou
PS: I don't think we're women just yet ;)
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