Gummy Bears.....

Today in yoga my teacher wanted to do a special writing exercise since it was a half day. I was really excited because she brought out a bowl of Gummy bears and she said "Ok you are going to grab a couple of gummy bears no less then one and no more than five." So naturally I took five and boy was that a mistake. What we had to do now was write in our notebooks what we liked about ourselves. The number of gummy bears we took meant that you had to write the  number of things you like about yourself. Five thing, I had to write five things that I liked about myself and I couldn't even come up with one. Not a single thing crossed my mind and that baffled me. Do I not Luke a single thing about myself? So I sat their for what seemed like forever just pondering that. Like I know my self esteem is low but to not like a single thing about myself is just insane. If I don't like anything about me than that must mean that no one else does too right ? There were just so many questions running through my head at once it was hard to keep track. Then I figured well I like that I've always been determined at anything I did. Okay that's one and then what. I like that my temper is in control. I like my caring attitude towards my friends. I like that I've set a goal for myself. And I like that I can move forward and not backwards. Five. Those are five things I like about myself. I don't know if they count but for now it is what it is. After I finished writing she asked who had a difficult time writing that, be honest. So I raise my hand and saw that a majority of the class did also. Then she asked "Would it have been easier if I asked you to write about what you like about you're friend" and everyone nodded. "Well that's just sad." I agree. It is sad but when you think about it you're friends would say the same about writing about you. Its just a never ending cycle of insecurities and low self esteem. God U can't wait to grow out of this whole adolescent phase. I want to grow into my own skin and become the person I'm meant to be. Until then we all have to just deal with it.

xxxx.

-Ayssatou