Literally I just shouldn't have said anything at all. I shouldn't have tried to be honest with my mom and I shouldn't have written that stupid letter. Because now she's icing me out (no pun intended). I shouldn't have said how I felt. Actually I should just stop saying how I feel in general. Because I'm a very blunt person and when someone asks me about my opinion on something, or how I feel about it I say what I think. And it only ever goes downhill from their because apparently my opinions are always wrong. Or taken to offense and I'm not even trying to be offensive or mean that is my opinion no one can change my opinion but me. Most of the time I feel like I'm tip toeing around fragil glass when I talk to the people around me since everything I say is wrong or taken in the wrong way. And quite frankly I'm so sick and tired of it. I spent so much time trying to open up and always say what I feel but no one really listens. And it only causes trouble so why should I even bother ? Whenever I talk to someone they're always right so who am I to even argue with it. I don't care enough anymore to tell people what I think because I'll always be the one whose wrong in the end so I might as well just not say anything. Ever. If someone asks me something I'll just shrugg my shoulders keep my head down and go on with the rest of my life. At least until I can get out of here far far far away from everyone. Maybe then I'll feel comfortable enough to come back out if my box.
xxxx.
- Ayssatou
PS: I just asked my mom if she read my email and she literally said "Goodnight." And walked past me, shut her door and locked it. I guess she'll be leaving the country again pretty soon.
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