Literally it's like I have a deep conversation with my friends and then my brain goes over capacity, and I just have to burden you guys with my thoughts. I apologize in advance these are my opinions, doesn't make them any more right or wrong then the rest of yours. Okay love. I've said before that I really don't understand love and what it means [ I still don't so nothing has really changed in that matter]. Love is complicated because there are different forms to it. There's the loving your family. The love that you have for your friends.And then theirs being in love. Sharing a connection so strong with someone that it hurts in ways that you can't even understand. The pain is both physical and emotional. Emotional in the sense that every single one of you're senses are heightened and meant to surround this person's every thought. Physical because you feel this huge heavy weight of stress when they're not around and it's trying to sink you into the ground. I don't really know what I'm talking about and I don't know if I'm in love. But I can't really say I'm not. I'm trying to explain all my emotions and feelings in a way that you might understand it's just hard. I don't know how to describe exactly what I'm feeling but I know it's something. And whatever that emotion may be it's eating me up inside. It's like a knife stabbing you from your insides and it's even getting to a point where It consumes my thoughts and energy and joy. Why would anyone want to be in love ?Yes there's this whole magical aspect of it where you feel like you've just discovered your other half and everything's great and your going to be together forever (at least until you get bored/tired of each other and one of you cheats. Wow I am not in the mood today). But there are so many downfalls to love and a love that doesn't mean anything is the worst. At this point yo don't know what I'm talking about and maybe I don't even know. What I'm trying to say is love scares me and I don't know what to do or say in those situations and quite honestly I want to curl up into a ball right now. I can't finish this then I am sorry.
xxxx.
- Ayssatou
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